Congressional Chess Player Gifts

Congressman Adam Schiff

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

Target your message

'I think they're up to something.'

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"Frankly, we’re concerned about your checkered past."

Prawn Amend

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

'Checkmate I think!'

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

'Well, I'll say this: when the new boss came on board, it was a real game-changer for all of us!'

'Checkmate!'

'I can not get this game, the pieces all move like cats.'

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

Man playing chess from his parked car.

Competitive tic-tac-toe

Trojan Chess

'Do you want to be red Tory or blue Labour?'

'It's not cheating...My king is Henry VIII.'

Chess on TV

Bored Baker

'Some game dog you are. That's the fifth time in a row you've fallen for the King's Gambit.'

'I must have that painting for my office.'

Pawn Stars

"Gentleman, come in! Come in! Let me take your company."

Kosovo.

"Once inside, the pawns will jump out and take them by surprise."