Confectionery Rebel T-Shirts

Thou Shalt Not!

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Garlic Free Zone.

Lockdown casserole

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"Valet park only"

"We'll start with the dessert menu."

Chocs away.

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"I'm unable to process this image."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

Blog Breakdown

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

Recipes.

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

'I made a substitute in the recipe. Take-out.'

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"