Condom Collector T-Shirts

Retrospective contraceptive.

'I know you burn easily, Howard, but you look ridiculous walking around with that condom on!'

Hi, I'm here with a little something from your druggist.

"The vampire can come... I'm prepared!"

Servicemen.

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

The Grecian Bend - Women's Fashion

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

A Rifle Competition in the North

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

As you like it - One way of catching fish

Count Von Moltke.

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

Sergeant Stripes

Your husband will love this cologne. It has that new car smell.

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

'What'll it be . . . too large or too small?'

Work clothes.

Minor Surgery

'Dad, I've got two more chargers for you to store.'

'Call for back-up.'

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

Afro comb farmer - "That's a fine looking afro comb you're growin there, Jeb."

'A cocoon? Boy, he is having a mid-life crisis!'

"People are O.K., but I prefer little pieces of string."

Forklift truck

Coffins - Fins on a Coffin.

Combs