Condo Enthusiast T-Shirts

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'

The Golden Age of Marking Territory

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

Upper West Side Story

The Day Dreamer.

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

Real Estate Personals

'Honey, I'm home.'

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

'They're playing house.'

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

"Factominiums."

UP Again: Housing Prices.

"That's the window, dear. The bookcase is over to your right."

New Homes

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

From Ant Farm to Ant Condo

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

William and Real Estate

Leslie would regret bringing her cat to the pet store.

"...there's honey all over the walls, a weird buzzing noise 24 hours a day and some weird broad at the end of the hall thinks she's the queen!"

Real estate.

Turtle Eviction

Mortgages up 'Where?'

'Want a new house? Time to start groveling again.'

'According to my owner, buying this home was cheaper than building me one.'