Concert Performer Gifts

'Well, one of us in wrong.'

"You'll have to imagine the melody for this next song too."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

Trilby - 'Gecko'.

"Just as he was singing 'I'd like to be under the sea in an Octopus' garden', a giant, tentacled arm reached up and pulled McCartney into the ocean."

'The records show, I took the blows and did it, the way of whatever sheep happened to be in my way.'

Allegro con molto espresso

Spiro & Pusho plays on violoncello

Seth Schubert, Concert Harmonicist

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

They hated me.

A Symphony of Penguins

Showbiz Awards

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Cimafunk

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Rhapsody in Blue.

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Felix Mendelssohn

Anna Calvi

"Extreme miming"

EWE 2.

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

George Michael

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

I love my Timpani

Cow Show Tunes

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'