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"Have you folks eaten here before, or shall I explain the concept?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Your lobster was off!

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"I come here for the pepper."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Haute Chinese

Platter confusion.

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Bottomless bowl of soup

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Michelin stars? I don't think we have any, but one of the tires on the catering truck might be.'

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

'I wanted somewhere like England, but in Spain.'

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"More croutons, sir?"

"If you find a shiny lure in your fish dinner, the chef would like it back. He needs to catch more fish for dinner."

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

'listen - it's haute cuisine, coming up the river from New Orleans.'

"You were right-we should have just split one."

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"Our French chef just quit, so instead of the crepes you ordered, I made a breakfast burrito."

"Yum! I should have ordered dessert, too—can I try yours?"

"Our Fettuccine is eaten with spoon and fork. Angle Hair gets a comb and scissors."

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'