Computer Jargon Comedian Pillows

"I never open up more than two windows on my computer because I don't want there to be a draft. I might catch a cold."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

Screen Time vs Book Time

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

Terry had a computer bug.

Hardware and software

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

Chef copy robot

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

I've always been slower than computers...

'Trust me. Those shells have always been wireless.'

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

'Now where's my Tibbles got to?'

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

'It's a snow mobile.'