Computer Builder Gifts

'It all started when I built my own computer. Soon everyone in my aerobics class wanted one!'

"Young Frankenstein"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I found the termites!'

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

God's Subcontractors

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'Mum! Come and see the coffee-table I've made with my new tool-set!'

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.