Completing Obedience Training T-Shirts

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Agility God

Zombie pet tricks.

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

'The months of arduous training were worth it, she makes a decent martini.'

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'So, how was flight school?'

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Text!"

"Not until you fetch the other one."

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

Caution: Feeding the dogs under the table leads to the next inevitable step.

'Out of the blue, my Master is now obsessed with having me sit, shake hands and rollover...'

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'