Obedience School Graduate T-Shirts

'What's your secret? I can't get mine to follow.'

Discipline at Doggy School

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Agility God

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Marv was trying to teach Rufus how to be a REAL retriever.

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Zombie pet tricks.

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

'The months of arduous training were worth it, she makes a decent martini.'

Balloon dog training

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'Mac, I told you last week a collar and a tag aren't enough - there's a leash law in this town.'

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

Dog Training.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"Not until you fetch the other one."

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Text!"

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'