Obedience Instructor T-Shirts

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Agility God

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Zombie pet tricks.

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

Balloon dog training

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'Mac, I told you last week a collar and a tag aren't enough - there's a leash law in this town.'

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

"Not until you fetch the other one."

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

"Does he need to be healed or heeled?"

"Text!"

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

Caution: Feeding the dogs under the table leads to the next inevitable step.

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

Dog watching show called, 'After Obedience School Special'