Completing Higher Education Pillows

Morton's pride was understandable. He was the first in the Pinhead Family to ever graduate.

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Surfing the daily stress

Interdisciplinary studies.

Continuing education.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

All Hail the Matriarchy

The University Cricket Match - a sketch at Lord's.

Good Luck in your Exams.

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

National Academy of Sport

"I believe that's a Montessori school."

'I'm afraid the numbers don't lie Norton, we're definitely nerds.'

Football team discussions.

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

Meet the author

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

'He's majoring in cave hydrology with, obviously, the ultimate aim of being a caveman like his Dad.'

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

Warning: Math Ahead!