Competitive Spiritualist Pillows

"When I was making money, I made the most money, and now that I'm spiritual I'm the most spiritual."

Golfing Bishop.

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Snail Racing

"Listen here pup, it's time you realized it's a "dog eat dog" world."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

"Finally, a succinct corporate mission statement."

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"Look the competition has a big, stupid product. We need a big, stupid product of our own, and we need it now!"

"I'm here to gets the gold"

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

'Selling a stock and marking a profit is better than selling it at a loss, if only for the bragging rights.'

Motivational tip #731: Appeal to their sense of entitlement.

"Why are they being so mean to us?"

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

'I hate snowboarders!'

'We're not looking for someone who wants to run with the wolves. We're looking for someone who wants to run over them.'

'Let's take a minute to allow the bad karma of the old regime to lift.'

Fun with Ned-Ball.

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

"I'm ready to play Hide and go Seek."

Congress today convened a special panel to study use of illegal performance enhancing drugs on the senior Scrabble tour. Members of Congress expressed outrage that such a national pastime could be sullied by fiber doping. Their anger led to an angry exchange with one witness. Hey Congress, here's a four-letter word … Turn off her mic.