Competitive Spirit Pillows

"It's not enough that we succeed. Cats must also fail."

A medal podium with places for first, second and third is contrasted with a spot at the bar for fourth place.

First past the post.

"Let's go slider, fastball, curve, beanball, fight, ejection, shower, beer."

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

"It's true - we totally have the best religion!"

'No business opportunity is ever lost. If you fumble it your competitor will find it.'

Employee of the month.

'This will be interesting, let's show them who's the chicken here.'

A meeting room with two teams of businessmen in huddles on opposite sides of the room.

"Excuse me ref, a few of the lads on the losing team would like a word if they may..."

Shortly after his first victory, the tortoise gets cocky.

'Listen, I just want to say this right up front so there are no hurt feelings later on. ... I'm very, very sorry for what I'm about to do to you.'

'Simms is causing some real morale problems with the sales staff.'

Bride throws bouquet, woman dressed in American footballer's outfit catches it.

First place / Second place next exit.

The interviews hadn't begun, but Carl was quietly confident

It's just a game vs. get real.

"But that's the beauty of the game. At this very moment, your absurd vicarious defeat is being perfectly counterbalanced by some opposing fan's absurd vicarious triumph."

100k Desert Crawl

Medalist wears five gold medals to form olympic rings.

'Slow poke!'

Battle of the sexes.

"Hey! Not fair!"

Woman rating a man's performance with scorecards.

"Just remember, son, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose - unless you want Daddy's love."

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

'It's not fair...Schumacher gets to practice a lap of honour before the race has even begun.'

The Rat Race

'Why do I have to keep proving myself?!'

Tennis Player Receives Unwanted Advice on the Tennis Court of Public Opinion.

'The grudge match.'

"We realize it's a win-win, Jenkins—we're trying to figure out a way to make it a win-lose."

'But last week you said I needed to bring my best game.'