Competitive Spirit Gifts

"It's not enough that we succeed. Cats must also fail."

A medal podium with places for first, second and third is contrasted with a spot at the bar for fourth place.

First past the post.

"Let's go slider, fastball, curve, beanball, fight, ejection, shower, beer."

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

"It's true - we totally have the best religion!"

'No business opportunity is ever lost. If you fumble it your competitor will find it.'

Employee of the month.

A meeting room with two teams of businessmen in huddles on opposite sides of the room.

'This will be interesting, let's show them who's the chicken here.'

"Excuse me ref, a few of the lads on the losing team would like a word if they may..."

Shortly after his first victory, the tortoise gets cocky.

'Listen, I just want to say this right up front so there are no hurt feelings later on. ... I'm very, very sorry for what I'm about to do to you.'

'Simms is causing some real morale problems with the sales staff.'

First place / Second place next exit.

Bride throws bouquet, woman dressed in American footballer's outfit catches it.

100k Desert Crawl

Two businessmen competing.

It's just a game vs. get real.

"But that's the beauty of the game. At this very moment, your absurd vicarious defeat is being perfectly counterbalanced by some opposing fan's absurd vicarious triumph."

The interviews hadn't begun, but Carl was quietly confident

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

"Just remember, son, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose - unless you want Daddy's love."

"Hey! Not fair!"

The Rat Race

Tennis Player Receives Unwanted Advice on the Tennis Court of Public Opinion.

Medalist wears five gold medals to form olympic rings.

Battle of the sexes.

'Slow poke!'

'Why do I have to keep proving myself?!'

Woman rating a man's performance with scorecards.

'The grudge match.'

'It's not fair...Schumacher gets to practice a lap of honour before the race has even begun.'

'But last week you said I needed to bring my best game.'