Competition Lawyer Gifts

Office of Fair Trading boxer

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

"Tariffs"

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"...and, if your idea is so imaginative, innovative and original, why aren't our competitors doing it?"

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"We can't be assailed and we can't be blackmailed... can't be derailed and will not be curtailed... competition will fail... cause we're too big to nail... oh, yeah!"

They were long past their canine pasts, but the rare stamp brought out the beast in them.

Jaws 3 - The Litigation

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

'I'd like to sue my way to success.'

The company lawyer's self-image vs the boss's self-image.

"Are we afraid of a little competition? Based on the figures, absolutely."

GPC negotiators will only take on 'merited criticism'.

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

'But how could me speaking at the Secret New Products Seminar break our Confidentiality Agreement?'

Arcade Game Baseball.

Corporate Lawyers

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

"I'm looking for a tie that retracts a statement."

Sports Lawyers

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'These are tough times to be a contract law attorney. Everything's written in stone.'

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

'Not to worry, I've handled hundreds of cases like this and the way I see it, I'm bound to win one sooner or later.'

"I always find the Contract Attorney's Special amusing. The price is always in extremely fine print."

'I think our filing system is a little too obvious.'

'My client will give up the castle, as long as it is not an admission of defeat.'

"Honest, J.B., I don't think that little girl's lemonade stand on Cerritos Street will hurt our business!"