Compass Critic Gifts

"Well, that's not where my north is."

The fate of the emigrant

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

No Elgar!

Cat with Nine Still Lives

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

"This computer program is very intuitive. It automatically calls me when you do something stupid."

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

'Yes, It's in that direction.'

'Go ahead,ask me which way is north.'

Four Types of Critics

President Grant denies Ambitions for 3rd Term- A 'Blighting Effect' on Newspaper Editors

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

'What's your usual response to criticism?' - 'Extreme surprise.'

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

'There's a strong minimalist influence in this artist's work.' 'Good! The less there is of it, the better.'

Support Group for the Directionally Challenged.

Orienteering 101

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

'He's supposed to be the world's oldest turtle!'

"We seem to be the only animals here."

"Some Rain Forest this is..."

"Kids terrify me."

'We all need direction . . . '

'I love an empty canvas...especially yours...'

First Cynic in Space

Don't walk while cross.

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

Man lost in a maze while his wife waits outside

"To be perfectly honest, I don't mind the riders, it's the clowns I'm afraid of..."