Compass Aficionado Pillows

Support group for the directionally challenged.

The fate of the emigrant

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'So much for your new Satnav!'

The Big Tipper

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."

"Nothing serious - just some twenties stuck in your crankshaft."

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

"Of course I believe in unions - Where do you think we doctors would be without the A.M.A.?"

"The good news is that a delicious stick of jerky is still a very affordable seventy-five cents."

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

The slug replaces the cheetah as the fastest animal on earth.

Carpet

Things Mothers don't want to hear from their five year olds...

Beware of Everything

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

The Lemmings of Montauk

Our Cars Are Made By 100% American-Made Robots.

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

Man playing chess from his parked car.

'When is science going to explain the dark matter I find in my belly button every morning?'

Please enter "my way" or "the highway." Tough guy GPS.

The sea of heartbreak.

"You see, when the compass goes crazy, you know you've reached the magnetic pole..."

"The major obstacle to your big dream...is your tiny wallet."

'You say voters in many areas can't relate to me?'