Comparative Living Enthusiast T-Shirts

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

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Real Estate Personals

'They're playing house.'

Life is simpler in the sticks.

"Who says the recovery has been uneven? All my funds are up!"

"You should consider buying."

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

UP Again: Housing Prices.

New Homes

How to save on your heating bill...

"So, how's that 'Tiny House living' working for you so far?"

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

Turtle Eviction

'I'm okay with this... I'm not a risktaker.'

"The Snout? What For? We've got everything we want right here."

Stable conversion for luxury flats.

"Is it me or is this mini home trend getting out of control?"

"We missed out on the quality of life index again."

'She's going to six different psychiatrists for her compulsive comparison shopping problem.'

'We're being foreclosed on. We're going to have to relocate to a loafer.'

Computerized House

'She'll come round to the idea of a Granny Flat eventually.'

Real estate: 'Sure, it's a long commute, but the price is right!'

'Am I safe in assuming that your requirements do not include a formal dining room?'

True, it's a fixer-upper.

Business is slow, thank goodness.

'Let's not get too carried away.'

'Deal or no deal?'

Mousehole Parking

"I didn't spend $5.6 million on this place to get involved with the damn sunsets over New Jersey."

"You ordered tea sir? This is a luxury hotel so I've not only poured it for you and brought it to your room, but I'm now going to drink it for you."