Companion Connoisseur Pillows

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Love me little, love me long.'

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Heaven

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

Bats with blankets.

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

Moliere

Bleak House

'The website made a mistake. Not 'erotic' - 'neurotic'.'

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

Charles Dickens.

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

C Day Lewis.

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

'It has a zip-out lining in case of a mild winter.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

'I know, I left the electric blanket on too long.'

'I know you like romantic things, so I built us this love-nest. Stuck together with my own spit.'

All set for the big sleep, Frank? I'm getting there. I've been storing up fat for the winter. And how about Ernie? He's trying something different this year. He's got wi-fi, a game console and virtual reality googles. He's going to cybernate.

"I'm afraid you will have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

Why destroy Carthage? Just offer them coalition government!

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

"I've always been a gnome body."

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

'This dinner had everything necessary to make it perfect...Great food, candlelight, violinist... you clutching your chest after seeing the check.'

"I don't feel we've known each other long enough to sit in a booth."

Wildlife Refuge

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

"There's nothing like dog-walking for making new friends...."