Community Life Admirer Gifts

"Your stonework looks amazing since the cleaning." "Nice touch getting a new bucket and rope." "Always reliable, you've never run dry." "Amazing taste too!" "Have a great day."

"Black or white, Vicar?"

Please Drove Carefully.

Country Bumpkin.

'Wentworth Street, Whitechapel'

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

French wine

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

Playing pig

'Leadership training.'

He leaves, but soon realizes his roots run too deep.

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

"Look, Martha—you contribute, I contribute, we all contribute to the pulse of the city."

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

Mummy?!

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

"I like friut flies!"

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

How can you be so sure this is Farmer Phillip's Farm?

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

Well, yes, it's a free library, but...

Seals on Wheels

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

Impressive! (Cow has stinky smoke signals).

Bird Song.

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 2

HappyHouse Daycare. Family-owned & family-run since this many (fingers showing a count of seven) years.

That's the worst case of 'cow arse' I've seen in a child!