Community Life Admirer Pillows

"Your stonework looks amazing since the cleaning." "Nice touch getting a new bucket and rope." "Always reliable, you've never run dry." "Amazing taste too!" "Have a great day."

"Black or white, Vicar?"

Please Drove Carefully.

'Wentworth Street, Whitechapel'

Country Bumpkin.

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

French wine

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

He leaves, but soon realizes his roots run too deep.

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

"Look, Martha—you contribute, I contribute, we all contribute to the pulse of the city."

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

Mummy?!

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

How can you be so sure this is Farmer Phillip's Farm?

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"I like friut flies!"

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

Well, yes, it's a free library, but...

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

Seals on Wheels

Impressive! (Cow has stinky smoke signals).

'Uh? A female vet?'

Bird Song.

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 2

That's the worst case of 'cow arse' I've seen in a child!

St Bernard Toilet Holder