Community Fair T-Shirts

'Oh no, the Gradwells are here with their homemade wine!'

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

See you at the farmers market!

AA Meeting Here Today

Face painting by numbers.

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

Clown Face Painting

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

Church Basement Foodie

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

"You do have your own way of enjoying the garden, don't you?"

Abstract expressionist face painting.

Maypole

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

tnl of lv

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

The Last-Minute Halloween Costume Parade

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

Teens.

Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.

Down On the Farm

"Can we discuss this?"

"Hello. . . I'm new in town. Do you know where the local police station is? - I need to sign in. . !"

I'm no longer welcome at the county fair.

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'