Communications Trainer Pillows

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Lynching on social media

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

This Message Has No Content

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Dialogue

Couples' therapy

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Harold, you've changed."

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Ruddy bloggers!

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"