Communication Chaos Navigator Gifts

'You have seven phone messages telling you to check your e-mail, and thirteen e-mails telling you to answer your phone.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Stubborn Horse

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

Signs of Stress

"We're all well aware of the madness, Phipps...where's the method?"

A dream of consequence

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

Having It All

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

Careful

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

"How should I know what I'm thinking? I'm not a mind reader."

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

"They say you shouldn't go to bed angry, so let's have it out right now before we go to sleep!"

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

Tax Department - Whammy/double whammy

Department to Control Government Growth - 'We need more room.'

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

Working from home.

Going to the pub with kids...

Married Life - Poet unable to write because of noisy children

"Don't worry. I'll be right back. I just need a little space."

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."