Communication Artist T-Shirts

'It helps him realize I'm being serious.'

"Maybe my argument will make more sense if I run it through some of these sick effects pedals."

"Your marriage would greatly improve if you were both more open with your emojis."

'Quality time, Gloria?'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

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"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

Couples' therapy

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

She - Interpreter - He.

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Direct Marketing...

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

Twitter censorship

WHO checklist

Wordplay: Export.

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My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

They had a tendency to talk past one another.

The Love Psychologists

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"Stop squawking. Use your words."