Committee Survivor Gifts

Committee Room - This Way

"And once you've achieved your 25% improvement in client satisfaction surveys, we need you to solve the problem of global warming,third world poverty and cold toast."

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

'Time for your pills.'

'Hanson - committee of four.'

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

'And in conclusion.'

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

That's not the reaction I was going for. Let me try to put a different spin on it.

'The boss is taking me along for a working vacation. I'll be doing his work while he has fun.'

"Caption: we work in an office; however, we have dressed for the circus. What a humorous mixup."

Frank was famous for his anti-inflammatory rhetoric.

"The first goal of our ad hoc committee should be to learn Latin."

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

"I suppose the first thing to do is form an escape committee."

"Here's a little song I wrote in prison. Actually, I was at Motor Vehicle renewing my license, but it SEEMED like prison."

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

'Good evening! I'm the Abduction Admin Consultant.'

'Ed here has some sort of problem with his membership on the visitation committee, Reverend.'

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

"Someday you'll understand the ways of the world...with the exception of tax and health insurance forms."

'I think we should form a committee to look into this 'individual initiative' thing.'

"I'm afraid there's just so far you can go with street smarts."

"God it was rough coming into the office this morning after the awards ceremony" "It must have been, you work two doors down"

'The hospital food was terrible, but the savings were substantial.'

'Look, he's wrapped in red tape. we've discovered the first bureaucrat.'

Bored Meeting

The Academic Brain, showing parts: teach, write, do research, and (the largest part) serve on committees.

A teacher walks into a classroom full of chatting students; once he starts to talk the students fall asleep.

'Are you nodding in agreement, or falling asleep?'

'All those opposed, raise your eyebrows.'

"Walking dead letter file."