Committed Shopper Pillows

Which magazine?

Cut Price

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"I shop, therefore I am."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

A young couple selects items from a shop.

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

'You've got to give Tom credit. When he's searching for parts for his car online, nothing bothers him...and I mean nothing!'

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

Self-Checkout.

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

Irregulars

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."

'Could you tell me where the organic locally-grown vine-ripened union-picked kiwis are?'

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

'In the war against full price, we are winning...'

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"