Commitment-phobic Strategist Pillows

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm dating this girl, and she's hinting that she wants a commitment. How do I keep getting what I want without giving her what she wants? That's easy. Every time she opens her mouth to talk about it, softly touch her lips with your finger and say ... "You know what separates us from everyone else?" "We don't even need words. Everything we have to say, we can say with our eyes." How long will that routine buy me? Six weeks of bliss.

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

"Yes ... no!"

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

Hello, Susie, it's R

"I'm sorry Jayne, but I've got cold feet."

'Don't try to sweet talk me, Eddie! You had your chance yesterday! We are through!'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

Dating Death

"And you're telling me this because?"

"I'm sorry son, was that, 'I do', or 'please kill me'?"

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

'I'm just concerned that if we embrace change this one time, change might get the wrong idea and mistake it for some kind of long-term commitment!'