Commitment-phobe Chuckler Pillows

It's not that I don't care for you, but let's face it Larry. You have commitment issues.

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."

"Yes ... no!"

"It's not long-term commitment, Kyle! I'll move in just for the hibernation."

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

Dating Death

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

"And you're telling me this because?"

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

'Don't you think having a relationship might put a stain on our relationship?'

'I think our relationship is moving way too fast.'

"I now declare a thumb war."

Would you like it engraved? Yes please put to my one and only love. That way if we break up and she throws it back at me, I can use it on someone else.

'Garlic and crucifixes won't hurt, but if you really want to keep the Count at bay just say 'commitment'.'

'You've got to help me, Doc -- I keep switching long-distance companies!'

"It was a misunderstanding. I thought I was buying all rights to her hand in matrimony, she thinks it was just first rights."