Commitment-phobe Chuckler Pillows

It's not that I don't care for you, but let's face it Larry. You have commitment issues.

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."

"Yes ... no!"

"It's not long-term commitment, Kyle! I'll move in just for the hibernation."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

"And you're telling me this because?"

"I'm sorry son, was that, 'I do', or 'please kill me'?"

Dating Death

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

'Don't you think having a relationship might put a stain on our relationship?'

"...and after the first year, it's only a month to month commitment."

"Hey, what if marriages had term limits?"

"I can smell his fear of commitment."

"I now declare a thumb war."