Commitment Conundrum Solver T-Shirts

"Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! I've been dating this man for 17 years. How do I get him to pop the big question? Which "big question" is that? "Hey, how come I'm not getting any lovin'?" … or "Hey, where are you going with all your luggage?" ... or "Hey, who's that guy and why are you riding him piggyback and kissing on his neck like that?" Get a clue, lady, he doesn't want you. Move on. Maybe I should give him more time.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

A Reasonable Time for Concern

'How worse? Give me the worst-case scenario.'

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

'It's not the age difference, Larry - it's the wage difference.'

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

"I do enjoy seeing you, Roger, but I'm not sure if you're binge-worthy."

'What do you mean, you're having second thoughts...?'

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

'He heard the question, Reverend. He's sleeping on it.'

Damned if you do...

'We have obligations to our stockholders, our employees and our community - Fortunately, Henderson in legal has found a loophole.'

'It's a big step getting married. I need time to think about it - What did you say your name was?'

Three-eyed man beats three card monte game.

Calendar; 'Point of no return.'

"Perhaps if I phrased the question differently."

'I can't say yes or no right now, Steve, but Vince's option runs out next month.'

"Whoa! That's a little clingy."

"We can't let the king die, but we also can't do anything that suggests he needs saving..."

'Is there a situation in which you would risk your life for an abstract goal?'

'I've been married six times, did you know? . . . Oh yes, but how many husbands I've had, I'm not sure!'

"No, I'm not married. But that's beside the point. Now, quit changing the subject and answer the question."

Speed Dating: Hurry up, you old git!

"Okay. Just for the sake of this argument, let's say I do."

"I do if she does."

'Hank,I know you promised to go fishing with me today but you should have stayed in bed.'