Commercial Real Estate Professional Gifts

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

Water is discovered on the moon....

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Mouse real estate!

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

Igloo sales

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

Real Estate Depression

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

"We emphasize personal service. Our broker-client ratio is three to one."

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

Updated Classic: Bleak House Sales

"I'm looking for a house near the park."

"I've just been gazumped!"

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

Real Estate Crispy Flakes: Location/Location/ Location

'That must be the termite inspector.'

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

'The owner is motivated.'

'A cheap single room for a lodger, close to the city, quiet, easy to clean... here you are, sir!'

"It's a quaint, one room, no bath, no half-bath, no basement, no windows, hole-in-a-boulder studio."

"We should decide now whose career will suffer more once I give birth."

"When I told you to acquire waterfront property, nobody believed in global warming!"

"In today's market, this little gem with a view won't last long."

Daily planner. 12:00 - Meet financial advisor. 1:00 - Meet legal advisor. 2:00 - Meet professional advisor. 3:00 - Meet real estate advisor. 4:00 - Meet spiritual advisor. 5:00 - Fire time management advisor.

Unreal Estate.

F&E Real Estate. House for Sale. Uh-oh, I just learned the house we're selling is located on a nuclear waste site! Great! We can say it's a "hot property"!

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'