Commercial Real Estate Developer Gifts

Real Estate Depression

Nasty 'Expenses' trying to get at 'Amenities'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'Unforeseeable future site of Hainesmore Industries.'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'Welcome! You are now in Shambles!'

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

City Centre Development - "...We've spent all the money on the model."

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Hard Hat Area/Hard Nosed Area.

Home Sweet Second Home.

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"Sold his air rights."