Commercial Critique Commander T-Shirts

'I want you to make this company as perfect as it looks in our TV commercial spots.'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'The recession is over, again.'

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

"I don't want to insult your intelligence - I imagine that happens enough as it is."

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

"This is a big seller, and we get them cheap...from China."

Finally! There comes my most important man!

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

Roads with a view.

"I may need you to take the fall for the Swanson mess. So, goeth with pride."

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

Privatized Jails

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

"I can't help but think that coming here is a total waste of time"

'Let's get with it, Miss Ogden -- Spread some papers around on my desk!'

"Halloween stuff already? It's August!"

BP is compensating those affected by the black tide in Gulf of Mexico...

"It was just a little setback - but the boss had away of making seem much larger."

'If a job's worth doing, it's worth off-shooting.'

College Bowl Games - Sponsors

Federal Department of Gimme, Gimme, Gimme!

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

"I'm Action Plan Man. Good luck finding someone to impliment it."

'Thank goodness for these commercials on the nightly news or we'd never be aware that we need all these prescription medications.'

'Or we can ask the government for a bailout.'

Organizational Flow Chart: Puppets