Commercial Critique Commander T-Shirts

'I want you to make this company as perfect as it looks in our TV commercial spots.'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'The recession is over, again.'

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

Roads with a view.

"I may need you to take the fall for the Swanson mess. So, goeth with pride."

"This is a big seller, and we get them cheap...from China."

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

Finally! There comes my most important man!

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

Privatized Jails

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

"I can't help but think that coming here is a total waste of time"

'Let's get with it, Miss Ogden -- Spread some papers around on my desk!'

"Halloween stuff already? It's August!"

'If a job's worth doing, it's worth off-shooting.'

"I'm Action Plan Man. Good luck finding someone to impliment it."

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

Organizational Flow Chart: Puppets

'Or we can ask the government for a bailout.'

"It was just a little setback - but the boss had away of making seem much larger."

'Thank goodness for these commercials on the nightly news or we'd never be aware that we need all these prescription medications.'

College Bowl Games - Sponsors

Federal Department of Gimme, Gimme, Gimme!

'What can we do to reduce our spending?'