Commando Adventurer T-Shirts

"That wouldn't happen if you weren't wearing underpants!"

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

An astronaut fishes in volcanoes on another planet.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Head over Hooves

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators

The Lost World: You are Here

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"Needs to get a life"

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

A surprise in heaven

"I do tech support for the cloud."

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

Spaceman looking out of the window of his spaceship at planets.

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Emergency exit into Space

"Shred the plank."

"I've been genetically modified!"

Halo Frisbee.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'This is way better than a litter box.'

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

'Alpha centuri: 24 trillion miles - Wormhole route: 76 miles.

Bluesky helicopter evacuation from X

"We've discovered a habitable planet teeming with strange and wonderous lifeforms! Quick – clear an area for a mining operation and power station!"

Small child in plane made from cardboard boxes

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."