Command Conundrum Fan T-Shirts

'What do you mean - what comes after left, right, left, right?'

Bright idea

'I found another pothole.'

Squirrel and bird feeder.

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

'Mr. Dobson, you don't have to dictate into the intercom, I'm sitting in the room with you.'

A dog and a robot dog

'There are some things they don't teach you in medical school. I think you've got one of those things.'

"Mr. Stilz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask Kelley to ask Dawn to ask Lisa to tell you he'd like to see you in his office."

"This one is really unusual. We have to remove a horseshoe from a guy's naval."

"Okay, if I can't use my last wish to wish for another three wishes, can I wish that I find another magic lamp?"

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

Freak Accident Specialist

Road Guilt

'He is our darts team captain,he always finishes on a double.'

'I'll get this rock; you get the other.'

"Matey! Me cell connection's down. Throw me a landline!"

'We need someone in here, like now.'

'Well, I've managed to get rid of the annoying double vision effect on your T.V.'

That side up.

'Know what? I don't feel drafts anymore.'

Man on desert island asks for a lighter rather than a rescue.

"I've found the problem. Rodney isn't your ventriloquist dummy. He's your Siamese twin."

"Darell is sharing his pet with us today. I'm sure the whole class will find this very entertaining."

Effective communications

"Our privacy policy has changed. Press 'I Agree,' because what are you really going to do about it?"

"Nothing is wrong with the machine. Press the buttons harder. You need to work on your people skills."

'Anyone for doubles?'

Problem Solving at the Urinal

'What seems to be the trouble, Doctor?'

"Uh - Oh, here comes old sourpuss."

"Sometimes I'll open a random safe deposit box and fart in it."

We need to wrap our heads around this.

'Have you tried switching it off and on?'

"What do you do when you run something by legal and legal takes the fifth?"