Coming Out Party Pillows

"I shudder to think of what they'll be like at the coming out parties."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

Getting to Know You

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

All dressed up and no place to go

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

'I'm not drinking with you anymore after what you did to me this morning. . .'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

'Look on the bright side, more gay marriages means fewer abortions.'

Same Sex Marriages.

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

India Decriminalizes Homosexuality

'What did I SAY to DAVE?' - A person with hangover worrying about the night before.

Next Round Indicator

'No more for me, thanks - I've already had a skinful.'

"Just one more round guys...then I've got to get back to the church!"