Coming-of-age Humorist T-Shirts

Teenaged boy: -Too old to be a teddy bear. -Too young to be a wolf.

"Why bother?"

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"Dad, it's not a homing pigeon, just a canary on an elastic band."

The Devil making snow angels.

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

"Damn if I didn't start walking in this direction for a reason..."

Annuals, Perennials, Centennials, Millennials

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'All you do is stare at the TV. When I was a kid we have to be content with staring at the radio.'

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"Relax kid, you're going to be for awhile."

Old Darth Vader