Comical Clinician Pillows

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

Robot surgery.

'You're giving me a flu-shot? Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-flu shot?'

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

'You've got lot toe!'

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

'Looks like we could have a pandemic on our hands.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet.

"There are some things medical science cannot explain...like where the hell our health care system is heading."

"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

'Level with me, Doc — it's contagious, isn't it?'

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

' 'Peppermint thumb' is one of our toughest cases to cure.'