Comical Clinician Pillows

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Everything is going to be fine, Mrs.Witzer...'

Robot surgery.

'You're giving me a flu-shot? Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-flu shot?'

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

'You've got lot toe!'

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

'Looks like we could have a pandemic on our hands.'

No offense, Doctor, but I'm feeling kinda rushed.

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet.

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

"There are some things medical science cannot explain...like where the hell our health care system is heading."

"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

' 'Peppermint thumb' is one of our toughest cases to cure.'