Comic Strip Connoisseur T-Shirts

'A free plastic toy, cornflakes scattered around the victim... Yep, it looks like our cereal killer alright!'

"Bigots!"

'He reckons he's got a photographic mind. Pity he never had it developed.'

"This is actually a cartoon about lemmings - just wait for it."

"That growth spurt I was waiting for didn't quite turn out the way I'd hoped."

"Actually, it's super-'person!'"

"What does it mean when someone says, 'I capitulate'?"

"Janet, please don't disturb now. I'm reading the funnies."

'I'm afraid you're stuck with it, Dwaine. A village idiot CAN'T abdicate.'

You look like death.

Fat Kid 30- Smokes two fags

"You taught him to bring the paper?" "Just the comics."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Six

'Hi, we'd like to talk to you about how to prepare for life after death.'

'I'm just spending the morning in bed with the Sunday funnies.'

Charlie Brown Float

The boss yells at me whenever I try to think outside the box! He's giving you some constrictive criticism!

You have the constitution of a comic strip character with twice your newspaper circulation, Mr. Fusco. ??

Are you familiar with the phrase "demography is destiny"?

I'm a soft shell-crab, but barb's a soft-hearted crab.

More Animal Grammar. Blackbird. Bluebird. Black and blue bird.

Lance, what do you say to people who read the comics over breakfast and find it disconcerting to see you drinking beer early in the morning? I tell them to read "The Fusco Brothers" at cocktail hour.

Disposable Contacts. Oh, contact lenses. We thought it had something to do with journalism.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

They're Not Just That Into It

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Fly Football

'He likes to power nap.'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'