Comic Spark Pillows

'I've tried every weight-loss product on the market. Then one day, I chucked them all and bought this shirt.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Baldo, you're a very good artist! You should put your talent to use."

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Jim Carrey,

Trump Overload

Jokes machine.

John Cleese.

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

Spike Milligan

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

Woody Allen

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

"Any kids here tonight? Oh, wait... I guess not...since I didn't see any on the menu."

'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'

Comedy course highlights fake nose

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

"We live in the desert. What did you think I meant when I said it'd be a nice day to go boating?"

Alan Carr

'Act your shoe size, not your age.'

"We could start a band."

"Obviously, if I have to explain the joke, it's not funny anymore..."

'I'm not kidding....my client is really insane!'

Cartoonists in Therapy.

'You said he wasn't a dirty comedian. This guy is filthy!'

Dawn French.

"See what I mean, it keeps making funny noises."

Writer's energy

'I'm a Fringe performer.'

A Very Good Idea

'For some reason they've nailed the mike to the floor.'