Comic Observer Pillows

Actualities - 'I'd rather see a hurricane whirling through my garden than one of these devilish crinolines!'

Self-Improvement/Self-Involvement

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

'The fish and chips are very nice.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Billy. The Kid.

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

Spiro & Pusho and the Scavenger.

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

"My computer just texted me."

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'