Comic Lover Gifts

"As long as it's woolly I don't ask questions."

IRS: You are here - arrow points to taxes, in between birth and death.

'No, Miss Smith... I asked if you could roll your R's.'

It was in that instant that Wendell began to regret his decision not to get breast implants.

"You're lucky, Dave. You have talent."

'Oh, so when I asked you if I should make a left and you said 'right', you meant as in correct... yeah, I totally misunderstood that.'

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

"You'll see, this is going to cause real trouble."

'Go ahead, speak some legal lingo. I want to try out this translation app.'

'Your weight problem is partly genetic and partly Boston Cream pie.'

"I'm going to be late, dear. It's total craziness here."

'Would you stop leaving incontinence leaflets lying about! I've told you, I don't have a problem!'

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"I'm not very good at delivering bad news so you're perfectly fine."

Vampires Into Stem Cells.

'I...2...many...'

'Caution slippery pyramid' sign on ancient Egyptian pyramids.

'Would you like to take advantage of our 'painless dentistry option'?'

'Sorry, but we're looking for more diversity.'

'Really? ..So when I said I'd found you a bed, you thought you'd have it all to yourself?!'

'The challenge in teaching junior high is that the maturity levels can fluctuate from 12th grade to 3rd grade in a matter of seconds.'

"Oh yeah? Well my dad's child support payments are bigger than your dad's."

'I believe it's time we stopped relying so heavily on instinct.'

'How can we prevent preganancy? We don't even know what causes it.'

'Brick is overrated. Let me show you something in sticks or straw.'

'Dang! Crashed again! Oh well... I've got to get to my flight.'

Acme Pest Control

"That's not what I expected when I asked for a second opinion."

'It's the antitrust commission dear, they say we have to get divorced!'

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

'Now that's what I call an overactive thyroid.'

'What's nice about working in this place is we don't have to finish any of our experiments.'

'I really thought name-tags would help in telling us apart...'

"Thank goodness you're a witch, we thought we'd stumbled on a social worker."

'Well?! Don't you notice anything different? I got a new kidney!'