Comic Fan Pillows

Optimist/Pessimist/Me

Lawyer, lawyer! Get out of the water!

A man filling up his coffee pot, with his brain as a coffee filter.

"Just one more..."

"Hey, everybody, we're invited to a cookout!"

Narcissist Cards

"So what happens if we can't meet our monthly mortgage repayments?"

Despite its name, the Thesaurus was quite often at a loss for words.

'I can't read but I have excellent tv viewing skills.'

'It's time for your walk.'

"Whatever you do, keep up with your mortgage payments."

'Okay, you stick to the old method Hank. But believe me, this is the future.'

"No one understands me."

'What I hate most about bankruptcy court is trying to hail a cab in a barrel.'

Satanic man with 'Know Fear' t-shirt

'No, no, no, Rapunzel. You hair, your hair! Not your bloody hare...'

"To be honest, I'm not sure if you marking your territory is legally binding in a boundary claim dispute."

Pyrrhic Victory

'Give me liberty or give me death!'

Silly Old Cnut.

'Can't we just get a divorce?'

'Right son...you're knicked!'

'Excuse me, Dr. Markovich, but the basketball players you heckled last night would like to hang out and scream insults at crucial moments in your surgery.'

'Are you trying to be funny?'

Telesales - "Good evening, could I speak to the dog of the house?"

'Got a map? I'm a homing pigeon, but I took a wrong turn somewhere.'

'Boy, there's nothing more embarrassing that being a werewolf during a partial lunar eclipse.'

'Read my lips cowboy, I said bugger off!!'

'Spare me your psychobabble'

'Relax, there are thousands of us working today: Nobody will notice that the two of us are slacking off...'

Out of condition man in front of mirror which makes him look slim.

Canine Connoisseurs.

Supehero tied to desk til 5:30pm

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

Monkey Pee/Monkey Poo.