Comic Fan Prints

Optimist/Pessimist/Me

A man filling up his coffee pot, with his brain as a coffee filter.

"Just one more..."

"Hey, everybody, we're invited to a cookout!"

Narcissist Cards

"So what happens if we can't meet our monthly mortgage repayments?"

Despite its name, the Thesaurus was quite often at a loss for words.

'I can't read but I have excellent tv viewing skills.'

'It's time for your walk.'

'Okay, you stick to the old method Hank. But believe me, this is the future.'

"Whatever you do, keep up with your mortgage payments."

"No one understands me."

'What I hate most about bankruptcy court is trying to hail a cab in a barrel.'

Satanic man with 'Know Fear' t-shirt

'No, no, no, Rapunzel. You hair, your hair! Not your bloody hare...'

"To be honest, I'm not sure if you marking your territory is legally binding in a boundary claim dispute."

Pyrrhic Victory

Silly Old Cnut.

'Give me liberty or give me death!'

'Excuse me, Dr. Markovich, but the basketball players you heckled last night would like to hang out and scream insults at crucial moments in your surgery.'

'Can't we just get a divorce?'

'Got a map? I'm a homing pigeon, but I took a wrong turn somewhere.'

Telesales - "Good evening, could I speak to the dog of the house?"

'Right son...you're knicked!'

'Are you trying to be funny?'

Out of condition man in front of mirror which makes him look slim.

'Relax, there are thousands of us working today: Nobody will notice that the two of us are slacking off...'

'Spare me your psychobabble'

'Boy, there's nothing more embarrassing that being a werewolf during a partial lunar eclipse.'

'Read my lips cowboy, I said bugger off!!'

Canine Connoisseurs.

ICD-10 Codes for Santa Claus

"I didn't say: 'He doesn't bite'. I said: 'His bark was worse than his bite'."

"What? A shawl is a kind of cape."

Dollar on the run for devils, zombies and demons.