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'So what's it like riding in first class?'

"I think I need an extra pillow."

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

I took a vacation to forget everything and I forgot my luggage.

'Flight simulator'

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

'I wanted somewhere like England, but in Spain.'

London map drawn from memory.

On Holiday

The trips postponed by La Covid continue

Suitcase stickers say 'Nowhere'.

"Of course it's not a mirage - mirages don't wear Chanel No 5."

Marco Polo

Flightless Bird

"Giddy-up dinner."

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

'And Bob's promised to take me to Tahiti -- just as soon as Congress holds hearings on the collapse of oil prices.'

Colin V Longshore Drift

'We'd like to go to a country that doesn't have tsunamis.'

Mexican Dog

Nelson.

"I manage to avoid jetlag by just catching an earlier flight..."

"They looked a lot bigger on the website."

'We'd just like to get away from partisan politics for a while...'

"Do you ever get off that branch?"

"He decided to write a travel book..."

"Hang on -- I'm going to make the jump to 90 m.p.h."

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these retired couriers from their happy place in the chair with the remote.

It says: monument to unknown tourist who thought crocodiles only stick to river banks."

"Look buddy, just what is our problem? You're acting like you've never seen a goose flying South for the winter before."

"I don't believe in Out-Of-Body experiences, but Frank regularly has Out-Of-Mind episodes."

'Take me to Acapulco!'

"I assure you sir, this bag is used exclusively for first-class trash."

Ironically, I've never even left the farm.