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Snuggie of Turin

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

The Red Carpet

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

"China now says it will withdraw its opposition to the missile-defense shield if the F.B.I. builds it."

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

"God, I love this show!"

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

TV Watch(ing) Dog for sale.

The Last Sweatpants

Brighter days are ahead. I love it when I hear that in both news and weather segments of the program.

"Ted's been down in the dumps since they started giving greed a bad name."

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

Emotional Baggage Handler

Cocooning: "I still don't understand what's so cosy about it."

"... And how long have you had this total fixation with T.V.?"

'Here, you're allowed to sharpen your claws to your heart's content!'

"Ah, sweatpants."

Pretending To Care

"I told you that TV would be too big for this room."

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'

Kangaroo wearing a hoodie with a pouch.

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'