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Snuggie of Turin

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

The Red Carpet

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

"China now says it will withdraw its opposition to the missile-defense shield if the F.B.I. builds it."

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

"Ted's been down in the dumps since they started giving greed a bad name."

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

TV Watch(ing) Dog for sale.

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

The Last Sweatpants

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

Emotional Baggage Handler

Cocooning: "I still don't understand what's so cosy about it."

Pretending To Care

Kangaroo wearing a hoodie with a pouch.

"I told you that TV would be too big for this room."

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

Marriage counselor: 'I say he's a couch po-tah-toe, and he says, couch po-taa-toe!'

"... And how long have you had this total fixation with T.V.?"

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'