Comedy Night Planner Pillows

'What TV dinner goes best with a sitcom?'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

Dating is so expensive...

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

Funnel of Love

'Harvey, did you notice what a beautiful full moon we have tonight?'

The Reaper's Arms

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"I think we've had too much Wine. The cork-screw is surrendering."

"I loved the bit where you hid under the seat."

'You deserve some unabashed fun once in a while.'

scrabble love

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

America's funniest election gaffes

'I was so embarrassed when you tossed your y-fronts on stage.'

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

Restaurant in the Strand.

"Hello ... Susan ... Joe ... Not ... Make ... It ... Me ... Joe's ... Robot ... Me ... Programmed ... Take ... You ... Dinner ..."

"We'll go out for a quiet candlelight dinner, slowdance on the beach to the music of Barry White, then make love in a warm, cozy bed!"

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

Bowling. 24 Lanes. Going bowling for date night with my girlfriend as a bad idea. A split was inevitable.

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Off Off Off Off Broadway

Romantic Frogs

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"