Comedy King Gifts

Christmas Group Therapy.

'Son, I want to talk to you about the birds, the bees, and the attorney client privilege.'

'You've got Chain Mail!'

'Quit chewing tobacco? But that's the only source of fiber I get.'

"I'm gonna make him an offer he could refuse but won't because he's afraid of conflict."

'You're not really that much help, Ben.'

'He's a master of the cruel put down.'

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

"Yours is adjustable?"

"All of my visitors have to wear that get up. Apparently my humour is very infectious."

"Congratulations, Gentlemen! We removed it from his skull without damaging his funny bone!"

"You have a really lousy sense of humor."

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

"Did you order takeout?"

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

Cow makes beautiful moosic.

Everything you always wanted to know about slop, but were afraid to ask...

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

'How animals mark their territory'

Hermy and Phil: Ventriloquist.

Remote controlled jester.

Young man, I think you are wearing my hat!

'It was a strange Christmas this year - Everybody gave me breath mints.'

'Why don't you change it to sports or cartoons or something? -- You know CNN just depresses you.'

Up your end.

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'Hooray! - My Three Stooges DVD's are here!'

'This new jester doth appeal to me.'

'That's a personal foul, roughing the passer!'

'Well, you knew the peace process was going to be dangerous.'

"I'd like an application form for the position of minister, please!"

Life Imitates Arf....

Curious Bits - Men's Brains

Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundred of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But now one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is ... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one.