Comedy Haircut Collectors Pillows

Mutant Moontunes - Fringeless Nigel

Occu-Pie Mars

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

Banana Split...

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Snowmobull

"The Eggsorcist"

E-Baying @ The Moon

Turtle Hat

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

Filet minion

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

A trevor of trainspotters

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"Whose the new guy?"

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

The embarrassment of mistaking a salon for a saloon.

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

'ANYTHING to get down the ruddy boozer!'